today when i walk along  clay key, all memories flashed back…..our little memories……my tears dropped down…..

i told myself i got to be strong really but it’s really very hard…..

i missed alot of things……

i missed the days i walk to gallery to find him…

i missed de days we walk along the streets there, looking for pretty and handsome…..

i missed de days we hold our hand, hand in hand walking from gallery to liang court……

i missed de days i go find him during his break…..

i missed de days i go down find him aft my work and waitin for him to off work…..

when i look at the place where i help him to celebrate his birthday my tears dropped down……..all memories just came back……it was like everything happened not long ago……

i wanna tell him how much i miss him but i cant…..

he read my mail le …..i get to know it cos i saw his fb status, he added new frens so it means he read my mail le…….just now i msg him, i thought he wont reply me anymore cos of the mail.

i misunderstood him thought cos of the mail, he dun wanna fren me le…while i’m waiting for his reply my mind was all negative things…..i dun know y….mayb is becos i really scare to 失去him ba……

actually tue we are going for moive, i didn’t wanna remind him cos i wanna see whether he still rmb our “date” or not….conclusion is he rmb however he is not free again…..he got to pickup his mum medical reports….when i know he can’t acc me, my heartbroken again….mayb i shouldn’t look forward to the “date”…… as 期望越大失望越大…….i told myself dun look forward to it just take it as normal movie outing but i just can’t stop myself from looking forward to the “date” ……… i’m really very stupid rite??? T-T

i realy wanna meet him face to face cos i wanna tell him the good news about getting into the sch however since he is not free to meet so i cn only tell him through msn…..i hope he feel happy for me…..this few days i always hav a qns in mind whether to tell or not to tell ppl tat we break le……i dun wanna hide things from ppl however there are so many things to consider……i really dun wan ying to know abt it cos i’m guess she will be the only one that is happy when we break ba as all ppl know tat she like ten……am i thinking too much???? i wanna treat her as fren and sisters but recently i feel tat i really cn’t……from de way she ask abt ten and de reaction she gave me, i really cn nt pretend i see nth…….if i dun know she like ten mayb we can really become good fren and i cn share my probs with her…….ppl may think tat i’m selfish or i’m a person tat het jealous easily, yes i am i admit…..i dun like her ask abt ten and dun like the way she look at him….which gal cn tolerate tat???? be honest i really hope she will be the last to know we break just like she is de last to know we are tgt…….aft consideration i decide to ask ten for a simple request….which is do not tell anyone in hoshi tat we break le…….am i very bad????? i’m asking him to so call tell lies……. i asked him whether he told her we break le ma ?? and he say he nv cos she is my sister let me tell her……do u know it take lots of courage to ask him this qns….as i dun like to mention her infront of him……..when she is ard i really dun hav anyconfident at all……….

haix…..

just take it i not a good gal and not a good person ba………

yest till today i nv msg him…..i told myself i got to ren ren ren, can not abit of thing jiu msg him…..i got to learn how to be independent without him……..however i still can not hide my feeling and worries……. i really wanna know how is he cos lijie told me de way he talk to her is like not ok……i do not dare to msg him so i send an e-mail to him through fb……i dun know when he will go read de mail as i rmb he said tat his com got prob……my estimation is one week later ba……..i guess by the time he read the mail he will feel better le and so do i……..

i miss him this phrase cn only be said here from now on………will he miss me as much as i miss him ????????

tis week didn’t hav chance to meet dar, i guess next week too…..haix….wondering how come we are so busy n time is so packed…..

dar day off i really hope the cn rest all he wan to at home but den on the other hand i also wish he could spend time with me 好矛盾噢

mayb i shld learn not to be tat selfish

sometimes i really feel tat i didn’t ask for much haix….mood swing again sob sob

leg still pain sad….

jun will be back hoshi today, tat’s de suprise i kept from ying haha…..miss hoshi working time neh….tml rose will be back home le time passed so fast…..didn’t tell her anything n den she is going back le….wanna go down on tue but den cos of my leg i didn’t go down…..hope everything will go on smooth to her and sweet when there are back to hometown…..wondering will there be times we meet up again…

hmmm….no news from dar today……must be very busy ba…sob

像个baby不错，有人疼，有人爱，有人关心，由人抱，我想那是幸福的。

有很多话想跟dar说但是，他很忙。

他不做工我要烦，他做工我也要烦。T-T 有时真不知我要什么T-T

有时觉得我们两根本就不知道对方在想什么，有时一句简简单单的我想你就够了。而不是一接到电话就是满嘴的抱怨，有时听到我很累但我没说出口，我虽然希望当他发生事时，第一个想到我但也不能每一次打来十句九句都是抱怨着工作吧！难道我们没有别的东西可以谈了吗？

是我要求太多了吗？我不懂

doc say mayb i hurt my nerve or wat ever better go take x-ray in case, know my dar really very busy working dun wanna him to worry so still thinking shld i tell him abt it…..i dun wanna to hide or wat just feel that he had enough things to bother le my matter is only small one….wondering will he heart pain to see my leg like tis???

sob sob good luck to me hope evrything is fine

aft work went agent n lunch with yi plus acc her to buy present for her father-in-law haha……den went to meet my dar…..finally i hav time to watch movie with my dar le….this month got alot of movie worx….all like so nice but den dar no free to acc me go watch cos we dun hav time for each other. I will ren for the sake of our future we watch x-men hehe even though i nv watch the two parts before this but de movie is nice hehe…..

when will be the next time we will be watching movie together ?????